Golden Parachute (of Revenge)
I understand that you fired me because your consulting firm's costs were
reduced (I think you paid me twice as much as my predecessor because I
have an appendage in the middle of my body).
Nevertheless, did you ever consider how you would end up losing more
than you would save?
First, I'm getting unemployment for two years. With the current economic
climate, I'm not likely to be employed anytime soon. You've also been
uncooperative in assisting me to find work. Thus, your unemployment
taxes will add up for the next 3-4 years by about what I "cost" you in
one year.
Second, I've notified the jurisdictions where your company did business
in but never registered. I've asked them to impose their business and/or
personal income taxes based on your earnings from the company's
activities. Cost: about one year's salary. You can also expect letters
from those jurisdiction's professional licensing divisions.
Third, I've given the human rights commission evidence regarding a
former employee who charged you with discrimination, so now they can
reopen his case. Cost: two year's salary to settle, perhaps?
Fourth, I've notified the IRS about how I felt that you took
inappropriate deductions. I asked you to document these deductions but
you refused to do so.
Fifth, I've told the professional association that you are a member of
about how you ordered your staff to copy copyrighted standard contracts,
in order to avoid paying licensing fees. Cost: another year's salary and
possible loss of your membership, as this is an ethics violation.
Sixth, I let the bankruptcy court know about the destroyed documents and
the questionable signatures, and I told one of your many creditors about
your hidden asset. They attached the asset, worth many times my salary.
The look on your face when you found out what I had done: priceless.
So, evil boss who thinks he can always do whatever he wants and believes
rules are for other people, the next time you want to let someone go for
the wrong reasons or do something inappropriate, maybe you ought to ask
yourself: "Do I feel lucky?"
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