The History and Development of Rubber Ducks

As early as 200 BC, Chinese rubber ducks were highly revered. This willingness to wait on the ducks tended to make the traditional Chinese duck bottom-heavy. The resulting upright buoyancy had the effect of increasing their popularity and endearing them to many generations.

The introduction of this non-native species to the North American continent has had a serious detrimental effect on their aquatic performance. The value placed by Western countries on education has caused many ducks to pursue higher learning, resulting in extremely heavy brains and a tendency to capsize easily. We see further westernization in the many ducks assuming likenesses of celebrities, denying the very yellowness that led to their initial popularity.

One company continues to produce bottom-heavy ducks, called, appropriately enough, "Regular Ducks." It is not clear whether management (just regular guys?) operates outside the influence of the typical codified sense of customer service or if the ducks are becoming so westernized that they are suffering from the consequences of the typical American diet. Unfortunately, if the popularity of Faulk's Regular Duck Call ($9.95 at www.gundogsupply.com) is any indication, it is likely that this desirable species may well be hunted to extinction.

Caitilin Walsh

WWW Washington Free Press