Answers to last issue's 'Great American Newspeak Quiz'

by Wayne Grytting

1. A "radiation enhancement device" is a neutron bomb. (Personally, I would have gone with "radiation empowerment device.")
2. The Pentagon's "active denial system" is a heat ray gun used for crowd control. (Subtract 15 points if you answered "the Pentagon itself.")
3. A "pre-dawn vertical insertion" is not what we get at tax time, but a military invasion. (Undoubtedly timed to de-enhance "collateral damage.")
4. A "premature anti-fascist" is the Defense Department's label for those who fought against fascism in the Spanish civil war while the US remained neutral.
5. At AT&T, if you've been "unassigned," you've been fired. (This marks a qualitative advance over "downsizing.")
6. Pack your bags and go back to AT&T. As a Microsoft temp, if you were told to "strengthen your relationship" with your employment agency, you were also just fired.
7. Congratulations you're making about minimum wage if you are a "partner" at Starbucks.
8. (C) Clotheslines were deemed "inappropriate" and banned by the community of San Juan Capistrano, California.
9. "Dairy Nutrient" means cow manure in the state of Washington.
10. Trees are considered "hazardous fuels" in the Community Protection and Hazardous Fuels Reduction Act.
11. (C) If you're on the Bush administration's "high value hit list," you'd better duck and cover. You're an Al-Quaida suspect and the Godfather has an offer you can't refuse.
12. (A) The "deputy associate deputy secretary" has the highest of the four ranks as a new job title in "Reinventing Government"--duh!

Wayne Grytting is the author of American Newspeak: The Mangling of Meaning for Power and Profit, now available in bookstores or at americannewspeak.org.

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