I thought I'd become familiar with the Seattle free publication scene, so I did some urban hiking and started collecting every free hunk of processed cellulose I saw. There was just too much, so I quickly excluded pamphlets, advertisers (including the Little Nickel), course catalogs, and lifestyle phone books (like the Pink Pages). Even with these restrictions, nearly every time I go walking in Capitol Hill, Belltown, the U-District, or downtown Kirkland, I'll still see a paper I haven't seen before, a paper that at least makes some pretense of printing news or reviews of some sort.

As I was collecting the papers, it was interesting trying to classify them (the Free Press for example might fit in the category of "stodgy opinionated left-wing tabloid"). After some analysis, I concluded that Seattle has the following free-publication pigeonholes:

SHAMELESS MARKETING TRASH. I'm sure you've noticed trash like the numerous papers I saw in this category. The Bridal Connection, for instance, is a bimonthly which gives all acceptable choices of flowing white dresses, multi-tiered cakes, and schmaltzy wedding DJs. Only for rich doting parents of the bride, who are soon to be poor doting parents of the bride.

HUMOR. Seattle doesn't have much of a sense of humor. Mansplat, was the only thing close to a humor mag that I could find, of a proudly lowball irreverent masculine sort. It is put out by Hairball Publishing. Issue #11 includes a dopey history of beer, hotdog ratings, and cut-out Planet of the Apes bumperstickers.

YOUTH CATALOGS. Our nation's youth don't have a whole lot of money to burn, but you wouldn't know that by most youth magazines chock full of CD reviews, snowboards, and other cool things to buy. The publication INsite fits this bill well, and proudly proclaims that it is "dedicated to the further de-intellectualization of Seattle and beyond," which sounds oddly like the philosophy of Pol Pot.

OTHER AGE-RELATED PUBS. I found two publications for seniors and three for parents. Northwest Prime Time is a good read for retirees who dig Julio Iglesias, but it also has truly useful consumer and health info for the elderly.

SEATTLE TIMES STEALTH. Watch out! That semi-funky free rag you were reading just might be a subsidiary of big business. The Seattle Times has realized that alot of people-especially young people-just don't read daily papers anymore, so it produces the free weekly Downtown Source and the monthly teen-focused Mirror.

CAREER ADVICE. About six of my pick-ups fit at least partially in this category. Computer User, a thick tabloid, is the closest thing to an arcane alternate universe that I saw among all the zines. If you don't understand nerdese, don't bother peeking inside.

MUSIC MAGS. This was the most numerous of all the categories, so I didn't bother counting them. Apparently Seattleites like music, or at least writing about it. I really shouldn't mention the obvious Rocket, because 5/4 Magazine, which focuses on jazz, seems to be the publication that is most purely moved by the love of its muse.

NEW-AGE JOURNALS. Really spotty quality in the four of these I found. You'll see an interesting article on an alternative health physician, then an interview with a Ramtha channeler, then ads for the services of both! Sometimes the lack of separation between advertising and reporting is just too crass to bear. The New Times is a good example. It also has the largest tabloid format of any free local pub (it's exactly as big as the daily papers). Widdershins, a pagan newspaper, is the most sincere of this group.

HIGHBROW LITERARY MAGS. These are just for people who can never get enough to read and therefore wear eyeglasses, which probably means you, especially if you've read my drivel this far. I found six literary mags. Mostly they contain book reviews and literary events. Point No Point also includes actual local fiction. The playfully eerie Arm's Extent poetry mag is also a good find.

NEIGHBORHOOD PAPERS. The University Herald, the Capitol Hill Times, and a host of other "neighborhood" papers are actually all centrally fabricated in downtown Seattle by Pacific Publishing. You can thank the magic hand of the free market: it's easier selling ads centrally, since the ad can appear in a number of papers at the same time.

NEWS MAGAZINES. Boring! Who reads news when you can watch TV instead? Somebody's got to do it, I guess. I've learned all I needed to know about local land use, school levies, and plans for the monorail from the Seattle Press, the ultimate publication for the civically engaged. Of course, you have to drink a couple coffees before you read it, to stay awake. It has been reportedly bought recently by someone with labor connections, so it's enticing to see what will develop editorially. Eat the State!, a radical op-ed rag, offers built-in caffeine.

GAY INTEREST. I found six of these. Drop into Bailey-Coy books for a look. Most share a keen political orientation. The Seattle Gay News manages to also cover lesbian, bisexual, and transgender interests to some degree, and its pages show a history of determined coalition-building.

WOMYN'S INTEREST. There are enough free estrogen-fueled papers out there to comprise their own category. The February cover story of the publication XX (named after the female gender chromosomes) was a collection of interviews with waitresses about work and life. XX is printed on the stiffest, most durable paper I've ever seen used for any zine: somebody must be saving copies for posterity.

ETHNIC PAPERS. There are at least eleven of these, the second-biggest category, and they're all over town. Common threads among them include the idea of upward mobility, defense of affirmative action, and a close eye on political races with minority candidates. The Asian Weekly (formerly the Seattle Chinese Post English edition) represents these characteristics well.

HOBBY RAGS. A prime example of modern niche marketing. The glossy MotorSports News, like all the rest in this genre, is packed with hobby-related ads for products and events. It's one step in sophistication above monster trucks. Anyone interested in the Tacoma Dome Arenacross?

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Contents this page were published in the May/June, 1998 edition of the Washington Free Press.
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