by Wayne Grytting
Free Press Contributor
It's a dozen years since since George Orwell's 1984, and while Big Brother has been a no-show, a swarm of Little Brothers have given Newspeak and Doublethink a robust life of their own. From government agencies to corporate boardrooms, the arthritic downsizing of the English language and the creation of contradictory soundbites has proceeded at a dizzying pace.
The "Just Say No" to Negative Ads Award.
Tired of negative advertising? Well, so is Ackerley Outdoor Advertising, your friendly billboard company. Their sudden conversion occurred when Ackerley was confronted with the prospect of putting up anti-smoking billboards featuring a retired lawyer and ex-smoker by the name of R.J. Reynolds proclaiming, "Smoking kills. Don't buy cigarettes." Said Ackerley President Randy Swain as they refused the ad, "The negativity was what we didn't like about it" (very sensitive people here). Then Randy laid out his company's positive philosophy: "We support ads promoting a healthy lifestyle, but we won't allow ads that attack companies that are selling lawful products" (and providing 17% of Ackerley's earnings). Marlboro should be overjoyed to hear it is "promoting a healthy lifestyle." And hopefully the anti-smoking groups can find more "positive" ways to describe a drug that kills a mere 300,000 people annually in this country. (Seattle Times 9/8)
Best Defense of Nike By a Business Journal.
After radio talk show host Chuck Harder attacked Nike for engaging in slave labor by paying its Indonesian workers 30 cents an hour to make Michael Jordan's tennis shoes, the Wall Street Journal came to their defense. "Actually," lectured the Journal, "Nike Inc. says the hourly wage is about 42 cents which is twice Indonesia's legal minimum." And just how is this minimum figured out you ask (but the Journal did not)? Marzuki Usman, Chair of the Jakarta Stock Exchange, had already answered in the New York Times, saying "The philosophy of the minimum wage is to make sure the minimum calorie need per day is fulfilled." This minimal need was, it must indelicately be pointed out, once a hot topic of debate in German Concentration Camp circles. But Nike is paying twice that figure! "You've come a long way, Baby." (Wall Street Journal 5/16, New York Times 3/16)
Most Creative Downsizing of the English Language.
AT&T's official 150 page downsizing manual leaked out, and just in time for those of you who still speak of employees being fired or even laid off. No more. When AT&T fired 40,000 workers (as we would say in Oldspeak) they were really just carrying out a "force management program" aimed at reducing an "imbalance of forces and skills." Got it. Let's go on. Employees not invited back are simply labeled "unassigned" and a dismissal notice is an "involuntary offer" to work elsewhere. Even though AT&T speaks proudly of maintaining a loyal corporate family, Human Resources VP James Meadows warns that "People need to look upon themselves as vendors who come to this company to sell their skills." Jobs, he says, are being replaced by "projects" and workers need to see themselves as "contingent." So much for family values. Welcome to the age of the Kleenex. However, not to despair. At least in one department, family values and old fashioned loyalty still matter. While 40,000 jobs have been unassigned, none have been in PR or human resources. Get the picture. (New York Times 2/15)
The Miss Manners "Defense of Normalcy" Award.
When Atlanta tidied up its streets for guests at the Olympics. Anita Beatry of the Atlanta Task Force on the Homeless revealed that 9,000 arrests had been made of homeless persons in the preceding twelve months, four times more than the previous Atlanta record. City officials have been assisted by a tough new ordinance destined for Newspeak fame. The law allowed police to arrest people for "acting in a manner not usual for law - abiding individuals" in parking lots and garages. Those who had been determined to be acting "not usual" could be sentenced to up to six months in jail or to a public works project. The law is a prime candidate to be struck down by the courts but we have to admire Atlanta for standing up for "usual" behavior and making their streets safe for the sensibilities of Sunday school teachers from Omaha. (New York Times 7/1)
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Just Say No! |
Time Magazine revealed in an exclusive behind-the-scenes article how American political consultants "secretly engineered" Boris Yeltsin's re-election. Campaign managers from California Gov. Pete Wilson's election staff came in disguised as TV salesmen and imported all the latest campaign techniques from polling to focus groups and "perception analyzers" to forge the victory. They even taught the Russians how to "go negative." They did just the type of job the CIA would have handled (or bungled) in the good old days. But after six pages describing the secrecy, intrigue and image manipulation, Time gleefully proclaimed, "Democracy triumphed." Chicago's old political boss, Mayor Daley, couldn't have said it better. (Time 7/15)
Best Defense of Political Participation.
A Senate bill to restrict soft money contributions for "party building" was killed last June. The most brilliant attack against the campaign reform measure came from Sen. Mitch McConnel (R - Kentucky). He labeled it "an unconstitutional abrogation of the public's right to participate in the democratic process." So true. Shouldn't all of the public have the right to "participate" with hundred thousand dollar donations? Peggy Carter of RJR Nabisco, which donated $831,053, certainly thinks so. She defends these modest contributions as "an ageless part of the democratic process in this country" that "just allows us to get our toe in the door." Sadly, Ms. Carter had no words of wisdom on how those without $831,053 to donate can participate. What happens to their toes is unknown. (New York Times 6/24)
Best Attack on Special Interests by a Special Interest Group.
Last July, a public interest group called Contributions Watch published a widely reported study on the massive campaign contributions of trial lawyers. Describing itself as a citizen's group dedicated to "full disclosure," CW set out to publicize cases where "a single special interest gives an enormous amount of money while remaining largely invisible..." Unfortunately, CW neglected to mention at the time that they were almost totally funded by a lobbying firm of Phillip Morris. A modest oversight. Admitting its guilt, the tobacco front group declared "Regardless of funding, the public record is still accurate." Good point. Who should understand better than Phillip Morris how small an influence money has on scientific results? And who better to be alert to invisible special interests lurking behind public causes? (Washington Post 9/30, Wall Street Journal 10/1)
For the complete "Top 20 Newspeak Awards" winners, check out the American Newspeak web site.
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Contents on this page were published in the January/February, 1997 edition of the Washington Free Press.
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Copyright © 1997 WFP Collective, Inc.